Moving.

I really hate moving! We tend to move alot due to the business our parents has. And currently, I couldn't even call it a house. It's just a room. And all 4 of us uses one room, 6 of us uses the same bath/toilet, less than 20 uses the kitchen and more than 400 comes in and out of the gate. I very much wanted a real home where we can do things freely however, the thought of moving again angers me. Not because of the change itself but because we have to adjust again and every time we move, I get to lose things I have. Throw away those things that would only be considered junk/useless but had once become an important part of me. I remember owning or keeping a lot of things but now, if a fire would happen, I can carry everything I own in 1 bag! Okay, that's sarcastic but it's almost true. I used to keep gifts and things with sentimental values but now, I seem to develop a trait that if I don't use it in everyday life, it's not important - give/throw it away, it'll only be a junk.

I hated this kind of lifestyle. There's a lot of things I wanted to do. I want to learn baking, try cooking, own a pet. But none of this I can do. It tensions me inside that I'm capable of learning these things but I lack the proper environment. We used to have a good one though but with things happening, change was inevitable.

I just wanted a place. A place I can have. Where I can throw everything I am. Where no one would see or judge what I do. Where I can live peacefully without these tensions building in me. Where I don't have to move and leave something behind. Probably, just by owning my own room would make be uber happy. If I think about it, I only had my own room for a few months and then the place got renovated again which leaves me to share a room with either my parents, siblings or relative.