On repeat.

Cried again today. Kailan ka ba matututo? 

Narinig ko yung boses nya ngayon. At magkasama sila buong araw o gabi. Sinampal na naman ng reyalidad na kaya ako nasasaktan kasi hindi pa ako tapos magmahal pero sya matagal nang nagsimula magmahal ng iba. 

Once in a while I asked myself, bakit sakin hindi nya kayang magcommit noon? Mali lang ba talaga ang timing? Parang hindi naman.. Hindi ba kapag gusto talaga gagawa ng paraan?

Mahigit isang taon ng tapos pero heto ako, umiiyak sa nalaman ko. Akala ko okay na ko, at kaya ko makisama, makipag-kaibigan. Pero parang sa ginagawa ko, pakiramdam ko nag-abang lang ako sa kanya. 

Ang sakit pala. Ganun pala. Kaya pala sa mga moving on advices hindi mawawala ang 'cut connections.' Panahon na ba? 

Alam ko naman na hindi kami bagay para sa isa't isa. Marami akong hindi gusto sa ugali nya, at definitely, hindi rin ako yung babagay sa mga ideals nya. I just need to keep myself reminded of this. Remind myself repeatedly.


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