Valentino, where art thou?

I feel uncomfortable. Not just because I have an oral report tomorrow but it's mostly because of Valentines day. I'm never like this on this day. I don't even cared before, until now. I just feel sad and alone. Even browsing on my Facebook feed doesn't help. Well, cause most are posting stuff like their movie date, flowers, chocolates and even the singles are sweet lemon-ing about Valentines.

I admit, I'm being a bittermelon. I've never received any flower from a male before (my debut is an exception, and that was a class gift!). Chocolates? I've received some from male I liked then he asked me to give the others to the my bestfriend whom he's courting. Bridge thing. Sucks. Love letters? I think that would be just a dream now. My heart aches.

I know I shouldn't be like this and I have a lot of years ahead of me but sometimes, it makes me worried that I might grow old alone. (Gosh, I'm only 22 and I already have this thoughts!) Well, still it's true. I'm not desperate for one. But I'm longing for being loved and thought about. I also miss the feeling of loving someone.

22 and never had a boyfriend. Sometimes, I just look back at the past and think of the "what ifs". "then...". But I don't want to dwell in it and I'm hoping for a good future. This "isolation" feeling comes now and then, I just need to brush it off. And I'm happy that writing it all gets me all well.

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