Broken

I'm really having a hard time right now. And I thought the times at school was the worst things. Now I know that this is the worst problem I have at the moment, unemployment, love problems and no one to talk this burdens to. Oh, just thought about God. He is always there but I'm just so disappointed with myself that I need someone to counsel me. 

I'm 4 months unemployed(since graduation). The 2 months was wasted cause of my plans to make it my vacation time and the next two months was my fail applications. I can't help but to feel envious of my colleagues who's now working and earning. And here's me, still waiting. My parents didn't lack supporting me neither in keeping my hopes and confidence down. And even with that, there's still some more things that keeps me depressed nowadays. Online games, which people find it rare for girls to play it. And I'm one of the few. Been addicted for 4 years now and I want to be freed from it. Badly. Why all of a sudden? I fell in love. The thing I swore I wouldn't dare to happen. But it did. For 4 years, I've gained different friends from different regions of the country and even in other countries(since its an international mmorpg), some of them became my best buds in real life. Yes, in real life, because I take most of things real which is the opposite of the person whom I've fallen to. I know it was pure games to him but I can't handle it. I don't wanna play a game which puts your emotions and feelings at stake. It's too damaging, not only to me but to her girlfriend as well. 

The two things a person needs are the things which breaks me down. Career and Love. I've talk some part of the stories to my bestfriends to make me feel a lil better and I know telling them all would cause them stress too so I decided to keep it in, til I remember I have a blog. A place where I can vent it all out.