The Reformer
I was able to get my personality test result and it made me thinking of it all day.
I'm still amaze of how it exactly fits me. As if it blurted out everything that I'm harboring inside, everything I've been keeping from everyone. As I was reading it, I felt happy because of the flowery words it has and it made me perceive that it's inclined to a more positive view. However, I realized that it's not. And its been bothering me.
I surfed the net for more description and the graver the effect on me. I can't believe how accurate the test was for me. There were really evident details that hit me hard such as..... there's just too many to mention! But since my mind is full of thoughts and I feel the need to express myself, so I'll type them all in.
"Life for you is about adhering to your strong internal set of standards. Sometimes, you wish that you could let go and have more fun. This can be hard for you to do unless you are on vacation because of your strong work ethic."
It is! I've been putting up standards...I should be like this, I should not do that, I must be this way and I never notice it until now. I'm being overly critical of myself. I've been wanting to have fun but when I'm at home, the only fun I have is sleeping. I have the need to go out, the need to find myself, the need for "serenity and happiness".
"Your vice is resentment because you work so hard to repress your negative emotions."
"They tend to be emotionally repressed and uncomfortable with expressing tender feelings;"
In psychology, we call it Reaction Formation - repressing the unwanted feelings and expressing the opposite. I do work hard on this and again, I realized it only now. Was I being plastic? Maybe to myself. I'm so busy hiding what I feel inside when what I wanted to do is breakdown and cry - the things I can only do when I'm alone. I never understand why I wanted others to see me in a positive angle, well everyone wants that, but it builds up fear in me when there's someone who don't like me or ignored me. It's like its so pointless being negative.
I'm still amaze of how it exactly fits me. As if it blurted out everything that I'm harboring inside, everything I've been keeping from everyone. As I was reading it, I felt happy because of the flowery words it has and it made me perceive that it's inclined to a more positive view. However, I realized that it's not. And its been bothering me.
I surfed the net for more description and the graver the effect on me. I can't believe how accurate the test was for me. There were really evident details that hit me hard such as..... there's just too many to mention! But since my mind is full of thoughts and I feel the need to express myself, so I'll type them all in.
"Life for you is about adhering to your strong internal set of standards. Sometimes, you wish that you could let go and have more fun. This can be hard for you to do unless you are on vacation because of your strong work ethic."
It is! I've been putting up standards...I should be like this, I should not do that, I must be this way and I never notice it until now. I'm being overly critical of myself. I've been wanting to have fun but when I'm at home, the only fun I have is sleeping. I have the need to go out, the need to find myself, the need for "serenity and happiness".
"Your vice is resentment because you work so hard to repress your negative emotions."
"They tend to be emotionally repressed and uncomfortable with expressing tender feelings;"
In psychology, we call it Reaction Formation - repressing the unwanted feelings and expressing the opposite. I do work hard on this and again, I realized it only now. Was I being plastic? Maybe to myself. I'm so busy hiding what I feel inside when what I wanted to do is breakdown and cry - the things I can only do when I'm alone. I never understand why I wanted others to see me in a positive angle, well everyone wants that, but it builds up fear in me when there's someone who don't like me or ignored me. It's like its so pointless being negative.
You feel that showing overt anger demonstrates a loss of control, so you suppress your wrath when others are not working as hard as you and don’t feel the same level of responsibility that you do."
I see anger as a unnecessary feeling because it only leads to nowhere. And really, it is inappropriate, people should just be sorry for their faults and be emphatic of others. Seriously, people are prone to social loafing. I so hate it when people slack off when I'm the one putting a big effort on a project. But yeah, I sometimes let them pass but when my bubble burst, I make sure they hear what I want from them. Control? I sure hate losing it. It's reason why I stop drinking when I know I'm on my limit.
References:
http://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/type1.php
Comments
Post a Comment